Confidence is something that holds me back a lot in life. I avoid doing things sometimes because I feel too awkward or anxious and then that means I won't do that thing for several months.
For example - Hair cuts. I like to keep my hair short, which means I need my hair cutting more often than I would if I had longer hair. But because I felt so shy about phoning up the hairdressers last year, I put off getting an appointment and cut my hair myself. This was not as tragic as you think it would have been as I have curly hair, but the hairdresser was horrified (when I eventually plucked up the courage to book an appointment) at how uneven my ends were. I didn't realise it at the time, but when I eventually cut my hair I realised how bad it actually looked and how much healthier it looks when it is cut properly. Although it was very stress relieving cutting my own hair, I am probably going to book appointments at the hairdressers from now on wards.
Confidence even stopped me from being able to order a coffee. I used to constantly order coffee through the Starbucks app and pick it up at the shop because it was easier than telling the barista how to spell my name. It was a massive hindrance really, since I had no idea what to do when I moved to a town where there was no Starbucks. It is strange how something so small can affect you so much.
I'd like to say that nowadays I am doing a lot better, but honestly, I think it is a day by day thing. Somedays I feel like I am ontop of the world, then other days I do not want to leave my room. It is not brilliant, but it is part of who I am, so I am willing to live with it and see how I feel as each day goes by.
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